Late Laughs for the week of July 4 - 10, 2021

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The Late Late Show with James Corden

The fact-checking site Snopes has now determined that Donald Trump, at his speech in North Carolina on Saturday, did not — I repeat, did not! — wear his pants backwards. ... Even Trump's pants lie! ... At the very least, his tailor should be impeached.


A three-year-old's birthday cake has gone viral because she asked for a "Lion King" cake. But not just any "Lion King" cake, she specifically asked for a scene depicting Mufasa's death. Her reasoning, I think, is that everyone would be too sad to eat it and she'd get the entire cake to herself. Nice try! If I learned anything this year, it's that there's no such thing as being too sad to eat.


You remember how the [oil] pipeline owners paid a ransom to the hackers of $4 million in bitcoin? Well, it was announced last night that the FBI raided the cryptocurrency wallet used by the hackers and got back more than $2 million of the ransom. So let that be a lesson to all you hackers out there: if you steal millions of dollars, you're only going to get to keep half of it.


The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Over the Memorial Day weekend, so many people came out to celebrate that one club manager said, "It felt like the end of Prohibition." Of course, back then it was the end of making bathtub gin and now it's the end of drinking gin in the bathtub. I'm going to miss my Mr. Bubble gimlets.


Folks, it's not just nightclubs and bars reopening, both Sam's Club and Costco have announced they're bringing back free samples. Finally, Americans can go back to playing our favorite grocery game: Is This Meat?


The cicadas are all over D.C. In fact, the swarm cloud was so dense that it could actually be seen captured on weather radar. Never a comforting sign when your weather report sounds like the Book of the Revelation: "Wednesday we're going to have swarms of locusts; tomorrow, rivers of blood; Friday, fire will rain from the heavens and you'll be trampled by the four horsemen of the apocalypse so remember to bring an umbrella!"


The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

There is a heat wave all across the northeast, and even weather people can't hold back how they feel about it, [calling the weather] "Swampy," "moist" and "ew": sounds like Rudy Giuliani's law firm!


Jeff Bezos just announced that next month he'll be flying aboard his company's first manned rocket to space. Yup, Bezos will be the first person in space to look down and say, "I actually can see my house from here."


Everyone's still talking about how boring the fight was last night between Floyd Mayweather and Logan Paul. If you missed it, you can see all the highlights by Googling "Men hugging for money."


Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Meghan Markle gave birth to a beautiful and healthy future Oprah interview: Harry and Meghan had a girl. Her name is Lilibet — as in, “I Lili-bet no one at Starbucks will ever be able to spell her name on the cup.”


[Trump] did 90 minutes of mostly old material at the North Carolina state GOP convention in Greenville on Saturday, after which there was talk online that he may have suffered a wardrobe malfunction — specifically, involving his pants, which some believed were on backwards. ... Poor Mike Pence didn’t know which end to kiss!


This was a shocker: Fox News didn’t even show Trump’s speech. That’s like if TBS passed on a new episode of "Big Bang Theory." It’s unheard of!


A record-breaking heat wave is waving. Six states saw record highs yesterday, and some of them are also being hit with a horde of cicadas. Now, it's never a good sign when a weather forecast ends with, "Just as the Bible foretold," but it has been happening.


Late Night with Seth Meyers

Former president Trump's blog shut down permanently last week. Oh, come on, you're not supposed to shut down blogs. You're supposed to slowly stop posting till you forget you have one. Then a year later you do one of those, "Hey-guys-sorry-I-haven't-updated-in-a-while" posts even though literally no one's been asking and no one could care less.


A spokesperson for British Prime Minister Boris Johnson recently announced that he married his fiancé in a small, private ceremony. Just what the world needed: another less effective Johnson and Johnson.


A travel agency has announced plans to offer a "Friends"-themed cruise next year. And nothing says, "I miss the '90s" more than still using a travel agent.


Starbucks announced yesterday it's reintroducing its 10-cent discount for customers who bring personal reusable cups. Meanwhile, Dunkin customers can save a buck if they just hold out their hands.


Weekend Update with Colin Jost and Michael Che

It was reported that federal authorities investigating the sex trafficking allegations against Matt Gaetz have secured the co-operation of his ex-girlfriend — but not until after her prom.


Former president Donald Trump ... released a statement urging his followers to boycott Coca-Cola. Which is surprising because I would have guessed Don Jr. would have the problem with coke.


President Biden announced executive actions to curb gun violence, including new regulations against gun kits that you can buy online and assemble at home. Remember how frustrated and angry you get assembling a dresser? Now imagine, at the end of that, you had a gun.