The Late Late Show With James Corden

Republicans want to defund Biden's vaccine mandate because ... famously, Republicans hate to tell people what to do with their bodies.

The cereal company Kellogg's has reached a tentative agreement with union representatives, ending one of the most high-profile labor disputes. Now they just need to hurry up and sign the agreement before it gets soggy ... the only flies in the ointment are Snap, Crackle and Pop, who are all hard-line communists.

Here's something fun for people who love the movie "Home Alone." The iconic house from the movie will be available to rent on Airbnb for one night this month. ... The house looks exactly the same. I haven't seen anything else in Hollywood age that well since Paul Rudd.

A man in the U.K. showed up to the hospital with a rather unusual problem. According to him, he accidentally slipped and fell onto one of his antique military collectibles, causing a mortar shell from World War II to get stuck in his backside to the point where he couldn't get it out, and because it was an explosive, the bomb squad had to be called in. ... That was supposed to be sent behind enemy lines, not inside the enemy's behind!

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

It is true if you rearrange the letters in "Omicron" you could spell "moronic," but that doesn't prove anything. If you rearrange the letters of "coronavirus" you can spell "corn saviour" — that doesn't mean I'm going to bow down and worship Orville Redenbacher.

Yesterday the White House held the national Christmas tree lighting, which featured special guests Chris Stapleton, Kristin Chenoweth and Billy Porter. Though it was a little awkward when Billy Porter showed up wearing the exact same outfit as the tree.

We just learned that a big retailer, Dollar Tree, is bumping up their prices to $1.25 for most items. Hey, "dollar" is right in the name of the store! I haven't been this upset since I found out Panda Express does not serve real panda.

The latest supply chain snafu is hitting the beverage industry, where there is a growing alcohol shortage, including high-end rums, cognacs and tequila. ... But wait, there's less! There's also shortages of wine, which explains your suburban mom's new T-shirt: "Don't talk to Mommy until someone has resolved the kinks in the global supply chain."

Actor James Beeks ... was arrested last week for allegedly attempting to break through a line of police officers guarding the Senate Chamber [on Jan. 6], but it turns out that he's not a threat, he's a triple threat, because until his arrest he was playing Judas in the touring production of Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical "Jesus Christ Superstar." ... Investigators finally found Beeks after attending two performances. ... Really?! Two performances? C'mon FBI, just admit you like a good musical!

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Last night, just hours before the deadline, Congress reached a deal to avoid a government shutdown. ... The government is now funded through [to] Feb. 18 — it's basically Congress's version of repeatedly clicking "Remind me tomorrow" on a software update.

Zoom just rolled out a new feature called "Attendance status" that makes it easier to see who's at a meeting and whether anyone showed up late, which is why they're changing the name from Zoom to "Narc."

The NFL just suspended three players, including Tampa Bay Buccaneers star receiver Antonio Brown, for turning in fake vaccine cards. The NFL got suspicious when, under "doctor," it said "Aaron Rodgers."

Today the Biden administration announced a diplomatic boycott of the Beijing Winter Olympics over human rights concerns in China. That's right, U.S. athletes are still competing but the politicians will not be there. Nothing will convince China to change their ways like not sending the secretary of agriculture to the Olympics.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Biden said he spoke to Mitch McConnell and Chuck Schumer and believes there won't be a shutdown "unless somebody decides to be erratic." And by somebody, he means Ted Cruz, the senator from Texas.

It was a big weekend for Omicron, bro. The new variant has been reported in now at least 18 U.S. states and counting. It's soon to be everywhere! It's like that Mariah Carey Christmas song: Dec. 7 is where it really kicks in, you know.

They did a study at Colorado State University and found that the people who spread COVID the most are men. ... Men are thought to be more "spready" because, in general, we have larger lungs and are a lot more inclined to give wet willies. Speaking loudly is also not good — it expels more particles of COVID, which means the loudest men can do the most damage. So, stay as far away from Gilbert Gottfried as you can.

The social media platform [Trump]'s been working on, which is ironically titled "Truth Social," missed their deadline for a partial launch. They were supposed to go online last month, and even though they're behind schedule, Trump claims his platform has raised $1 billion in funding. Which must be true — he's always been a straight shooter when it comes to finances.

Late Night with Seth Meyers

Today was Maine Sen. Susan Collins' 69th birthday, though she's confident that she will remain 68.

During a new interview, billionaire Elon Musk said that his Neuralink company hopes to start implanting brain chips in humans sometime next year. That's kind of intriguing, but I don't think I'd get the first one. Remember the iPhone 1? Exactly. You get the first chip and in three years everybody will be making fun of you: "You got the ONE? Can you even watch TikToks with that?"

Instagram today launched its so-called "Take a Break" tool. A break from Instagram, or as it's otherwise called, "Twitter."