Late Laughs for the week of December 25 - 31, 2022

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Late Night with Seth Meyers

The White House has released a so-called menu of accomplishments that supporters can use to talk up President Biden around the Thanksgiving table. And that way, your parents won't even have to ask if you're still single.


Georgia Sen. Raphael Warnock's campaign yesterday [Nov. 22] premiered a new video that features Republican challenger Herschel Walker's former teacher, which is brave, because I can't imagine having to tell people that you taught Herschel Walker everything he knows.


Republican Sen. Ted Cruz posted a picture yesterday [Nov. 22] of former Democratic presidential hopeful Andrew Yang. Though, if he's hanging out with Ted Cruz, I can guarantee he is no longer Democratic or hopeful.


Iowa Sen. Chuck Grassley posted a photo yesterday [Nov. 22] of his vacuum cleaner and said, "Thanksgiving has arrived." So, I guess the only mystery is which of those things he meant to do.


New York Gov. Kathy Hochul this week signed a bill into law partially banning the mining of cryptocurrency. So, you know what that means, hopefully, because I don't.


The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

Musician DJ Khaled is offering fans a unique chance to book an Airbnb stay in his shoe closet. It's perfect for anyone who loves the smell of sweaty feet and being woken up by a man screaming his own name.


Belgium is struggling to incinerate all of the cocaine it seized in yet another record year. Well, there's an easy fix. If they're struggling to keep up, give the people running the incinerator cocaine. They will not sleep until the job is done.


After a series of very public setbacks, Elon Musk's 2022 wealth loss exceeds $100 billion. Listen, Elon, I know belt-tightening is no fun, but you're not alone in these tough economic times. OK, all of us are having to cut back on how many cars we have to shoot into space.


The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Today [Nov. 21], New York issued the first licences to open marijuana dispensaries. And if you thought bumping into your teacher in a store was awkward...


Over the weekend [Nov. 20], Elon Musk reinstated former president Trump's Twitter account. But when asked if he'd return to the platform, Trump said, "I don't see any reason for it." I'm shocked. It's like Trump driving by McDonald's without stopping.


I saw that Kanye West said he's running for president in 2024. To Kanye's credit, he's already united both sides in saying, "No thanks."


In an effort to cut costs, some airlines are pushing to have only one pilot on flights instead of two. Then Spirit Airlines was like, "Yeah, while we're at it, do we really need two wings?"


Jimmy Kimmel Live!

They're gearing up for the holidays at the White House. Yesterday [Nov. 21] the White House Christmas tree was delivered via horse and carriage. This has been a presidential tradition since Joe Biden was a teenager back in 1889.


Joe's birthday wasn't the only Biden bash this weekend. His granddaughter Naomi got married there [at the White House] on Saturday [Nov. 19]. It was a beautiful ceremony, and I for one can't wait for Republicans in the House to launch a 12-month investigation into it.


The Late Late Show With James Corden

Tomorrow be sure to show some extra gratitude to whoever is hosting your dinner, because this year, Thanksgiving meal prices have risen to an all-time record high. In other words, it's going to cost you an arm and a leg for a wing and a thigh.


A New York animal sanctuary is giving visitors the option of turkey cuddling. This is real, you can cuddle with a real live turkey while feeding it cranberries and grapes. The experience costs $50, but if you drop $60, you might get something a little extra.


An election to fill a city council seat in Michigan resulted in a tie, so the winner was determined by a drawing. Seriously, the two candidates drew out of a bowl with one piece of paper labelled "elected" and one that said "not elected." ... What happened to rock, paper, scissors, like the founding fathers intended?