The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon

Some tech news: soon you'll be able to control your TiVo using the Amazon Alexa. That story again: soon you'll be going over to your parents' house to fix both their TiVo and their Amazon Alexa.

 

Target just debuted a line of matching outfits for the entire family. It's part of their "Make Your Kids Even More Embarrassed to Be Seen with You" collection.

 

I saw that Verizon is introducing a cheaper unlimited service plan, where data will load more slowly. Verizon even has a name for the service: Sprint.

 

Levi's just released a smart jacket that lets you know when your Uber arrives. It's great for people who love to have all the latest gadgets … except a phone.

 

During rush hour here in New York yesterday, a woman gave birth in the back of an Uber. The mother was overjoyed, while the other people in her Uberpool were like, "We'll walk from here."

 

A zoo in Indonesia is facing criticism after one of their orangutans was caught on tape smoking. It got even worse when they said, "Relax -- he only smokes when he drinks."

 

Researchers just unveiled a robot that can play Scrabble. It's pretty realistic: it even gets bored halfway through and stops playing.

 

Engineers for Disney theme parks are developing technology to change a ride's path depending on how scared the riders are. And this is weird: Southwest Airlines is doing the same thing.

 

I heard that some Gmail users have been getting spam messages from themselves. Which got really confusing for the one guy who actually IS a Nigerian prince.

 

Former FBI director James Comey said that he's actually a big fan of Beyoncé. He said he first got into Beyoncé's music when Hillary Clinton smashed his car windshield with a baseball bat.

 

Prince Harry didn't shave before the wedding. He was going to, but his brother was like, "Dude, if you've got hair, keep it. Trust me."

 

Conan

KFC announced it is running out of gravy. When they heard, people in Wisconsin rushed to the local Red Cross to donate.

 

The Las Vegas airport has asked passengers to dispose of their marijuana in a special box. In a related story, at the Las Vegas airport today, Willie Nelson was found hiding in a box.

 

Starbucks has opened a new store that serves alcohol. Starbucks said the biggest challenge was figuring out a way to burn wine.

 

In Minnesota, a 14-year-old boy announced plans to one day become America's first Muslim president. After hearing this, President Obama winked and said, "You mean, second."

 

The Late Late Show With James Corden

AT&T announced that later this year, they will start selling a smartphone that will feature a holographic display that projects 3D images that can be seen from the sides and from behind. And even more exciting, you still won't get reception in your kitchen.

 

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Other than "Grey's Anatomy," "Cavs-Warriors" is the longest-running drama we have on ABC.

 

This is that magical time of year when NBA players fly back and forth from Oakland to Cleveland like they're regional insurance salesmen.

 

You know, the first time the Cavs played the Warriors, it was thrilling. It was one of the great matchups in sports history. The second time, it was an epic rematch, and then the third time was the tiebreaker. But now that it's the fourth time, it's kind of like watching a couple celebrate their 11th wedding anniversary at Applebee's.

 

The Cavaliers are the underdog in the series. It feels weird to root for LeBron James as the underdog. It's kind of like rooting for Leonardo DiCaprio to get laid.

 

Late Night With Seth Meyers

Officials at a South Carolina hotel are searching for people who threw carrots at an 11-foot alligator. Well, I'm not a detective, but have you tried looking in the alligator?

 

Department store Neiman Marcus is selling a Dolce and Gabanna toaster for $600. Or, for the same results, just buy a regular toaster and put $600 in it.

 

A family in Colorado is claiming they bought a box of Quaker Oats cereal from Walmart that had expired 21 years ago. The family became suspicious when they noticed the Quaker guy still had brown hair.

 

I saw that Corona is now making a low-calorie beer that's 40 per cent lighter than other light beers. When asked how they were able to do it, Corona said: "It's just water."

 

A woman was recently arrested at New York's Kennedy airport for attempting to smuggle $110,000 worth of cocaine, hidden inside bottles of Bailey's Irish Cream. Even worse: Bailey's Irish Cream.

 

Lego just revealed they've made too many bricks over the years and have unsold stockpiles in warehouses. So I think President Trump just found the solution for his border wall!

 

Two straight men in Ireland recently announced their plans to marry in an effort to avoid the country's high inheritance taxes. At least, that's how they explained it to their Catholic parents.

 

A new report has found that more animals have died while in the care of United Airlines than any other U.S. airline over the last three years. While animals who flew Spirit Airlines only wished they were dead.

 

There was an hour-long shutdown on the F train line this morning, after New York City authorities found a gun on a subway track. Which they then used to put the F train out of its misery.

 

Weekend Update With Colin Jost and Michael Che

Police at Yale University interrogated a black graduate student after a white student reported her for sleeping in the common room. So if you're black and go to Yale, stay woke!

 

A new yoga class is being offered in New York, in which people exercise with goats. The way it works is, it doesn't.

 

A Colombian veterinarian has been charged with allegedly smuggling heroin inside of puppies. This according to the very dark sequel to "The Secret Life of Pets."