Late Laughs for the week of June 16 - 22, 2019

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A billionaire, Robert F. Smith, gave the commencement address to the graduating class of Morehouse College and he pledged to pay off all their student loans. Since this Morehouse speech, Smith has received offers to speak at 8,000 other universities.


Bernie Sanders said he will crash Walmart's annual shareholders meeting in protest. This could be risky because the last time Bernie got close to a Walmart, they made him a greeter.


The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon

I saw that the rapper Future got his five-year-old son a Rolex for his birthday. When Future's son saw the watch, he was like, "I would've preferred 2 Chainz."


I heard that Michelangelo's first-ever piece of artwork was discovered, and it was drawn when he was just 12. Even crazier, it was found on his parents' refrigerator.


Last night was the second episode of "The Bachelorette," and I saw that the men competed in a beauty pageant. When asked what it's like to be judged by their looks instead of their brains, the guys were like, "It was actually a huge relief."


We have a big guest tonight, Kevin Hart is here! So technically he's not a "big" guest, but still -- we have a great show!


Last night was the final episode ever of "Game of Thrones." The show is officially over! Meanwhile, Netflix is like, "We're back, baby!"


I saw that the Backstreet Boys just released a 20th anniversary version of "I Want It That Way." But since they're 20 years older, instead of "I Want It That Way," the song is now called, "Look, Just Give It to Me However You Have It, I've Got Kids in the Car and We're Late for School."


It's officially graduation season! I want to say congrats to all the college grads out there on taking your next step in life: binge drinking without the ability to sleep in.


This weekend, a billionaire named Robert Smith gave the commencement address at Morehouse College, and during his speech, he announced that he was paying off all the graduates' student loans. Pretty cool. The senior class was in shock, while last year's class was like, "You gotta be kidding me!"


This week, a federal judge ruled that despite what Trump says, Congress is allowed to investigate a sitting president. Then Trump was like "OK, but what if I'm in a hammock?"


A man in Spokane, Washington, says he got a bill for a colonoscopy that he never received. When the insurance company asked, "Are you sure?" he was like, "Yeah, I think that's something I'd remember."


I saw that Beto O'Rourke has fallen from third place to eighth. Now Beto's asking experts how to get back up to third. Meanwhile, Bill de Blasio's asking Beto how to get up to eighth.


Today is the first day of Fleet Week! That's right, almost 3,000 service members are in New York City, while the rest of the armed forces are trying to separate Trump and Nancy Pelosi.


There are rumors that Donald Trump Jr. wants to run for mayor of New York City. Even Bill de Blasio was like, "Yeah, you'll be mayor as soon as I'm president."


The Late Late Show With James Corden

Watching "Game of Thrones" is kind of like running a marathon. Even if you chose not to take part, you're still forced to listen to people at work talk about it forever.


It is kind of sad that "Game of Thrones" is over. People everywhere are just now realizing that most of their friendships were based entirely on sharing a single HBO password.


Archeologists in Sweden recently discovered prehistoric human DNA on a 10,000-year-old piece of chewing gum. Yeah, 10,000-year-old chewing gum -- not to be confused with regular chewing gum which, after 30 seconds, tastes 10,000 years old.


The Royal Family is currently looking for someone to help the Queen of England set up an online presence. Yeah, the Queen is joining social media. The first task is teaching the Queen how to do duck lips.


A university student in South Africa was arrested recently after impersonating a KFC food inspector and, this is true, scamming them into giving him free food every day for a year. The most shocking part of this story is that this guy ate KFC every day for a year and lived to tell the tale.


A group of veterinarians in Canada have lobbied to broaden marijuana laws to authorize the use of medical cannabis for pets. How much higher do we need dogs to be? Are we worried that dogs aren't already high enough? They already love frisbee, they think squirrels are fascinating, they do almost anything for a barbecue potato chip.


Jimmy Kimmel Live

The Department of Homeland Security wants to help pay for border security partly with the coins passengers leave at the security checkpoints. They have $3 million worth of these coins. For those of you keeping track, we are now officially at the "looking for money in the couch cushions" phase of this plan.


Late Night With Seth Meyers

Chevrolet has announced that it is introducing a new safety feature that will send parents "report cards" tracking a teen's driving behavior. It's just one of the features on the new 2019 Chevy Narc.


Queen Elizabeth today learned how to use a self-service checkout at a supermarket's 105th birthday celebration. Apparently up until this point, she's just been shoplifting.


Presidential hopeful Beto O'Rourke held a town hall on CNN last night where he revealed that he worked as a live-in nanny after college. Said his wife: "No, you're a dad."


Experts reported this week that so much trash has accumulated in Los Angeles, they believe it could lead to a spread of the bubonic plague. Said people in Los Angeles: "We are gonna get so skinny."


President Trump held a rally in Pennsylvania yesterday and said he would be visiting the state "a lot" as part of his campaign. Ah, the first rule of public speaking: always start with a threat.


New York officials have announced that a street in Brooklyn will be renamed after late rapper The Notorious B.I.G. And the F train will now be called Ol' Dirty Bastard.


A new census projection found that Islam will overtake Judaism as the second most popular religion in the U.S. by 2040. While the most popular religion remains "Uhh just Christmas and Easter."