Late Laughs for the week of January 3 - 9, 2021

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The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

The whole year has been Cyber Monday. At this point, all UPS guys are built like Dwayne Johnson.


This year's gingerbread White House is incredible. It features more than 400 pounds of dough and a gingerbread man who refuses to leave.


Oreo is now selling a cookie-scented candle on their website. I'm already looking forward to tomorrow's headline: "Florida man rushed to ER after eating lit candle."


When the CDC announced front-line workers and the elderly will be the first to receive the [novel coronavirus] vaccine, teachers politely clapped like someone who just lost an Oscar.


I heard about these new Christmas ornaments that you can fill with wine, liquor or beer called "Booze Balls." Now instead of finding presents under the tree on Christmas morning, the kids will find Uncle Jeff.


The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

How many times does [Obama] need to save the economy? He propped up the auto industry, now publishing and next week he's bringing back America's shopping malls by getting his ears pierced at Claire's.


A Netflix show about taking over the White House from Obama? Please call it "Orange Is the New Black."


Happy December, everybody! Or very late March ... it's hard to tell at this point.


Not much is prohibited by Georgia law. They let you marry a gun so long as it's 16.


New York SantaCon has been canceled by COVID-19. So, just to be clear: you and your family who went ahead with Thanksgiving are less responsible than 30,000 wasted Santas.


Astronomers have created a new "atlas of the universe" featuring a million previously undiscovered galaxies beyond the Milky Way to create a Google Maps of the night sky. Great news for science, terrible news for the little Google Street View guy who was dropped near Andromeda and now drifts forever alone.


The Late Late Show with James Corden

Is it Christmas? It could be March. It could be 2022. Who knows?


Only 24 more shopping days until Christmas. And then only about 180 more shopping days until we can all safely go shopping again.


Barack Obama said if they make a movie about his life, he would like Drake to play him. Our thoughts go out to Will Smith during this difficult time.


A giant, 60-foot-tall robot that can walk and move its arms was unveiled in Tokyo. The robot is part of a tourist attraction which will open later this month. The attraction will open by the end of December and will have destroyed most of Tokyo by the end of January.


Jimmy Kimmel Live!

What I'm most thankful for every year is that I don't work at NBC, where they force you to be a part of the Macy's parade. To me, it's just traffic with balloons.


The recount in Wisconsin cost the Trump campaign $3 million, and the result of that recount was Biden picked up 87 more votes — money well spent.


It seems weird to have Giving Tuesday after everyone spent all their money on Black Friday and Cyber Monday. But that's how we do it: America first!


For all the fake outrage he's spewing in public, CNN is reporting that one of Trump's closest advisers said the president "sees the writing on the wall." What wall is he seeing it on? The one he didn't build to keep the caravans out?


We should treat the White House like it's America's Airbnb. You lose the election? Checkout's at 11 a.m. Strip the sheets and leave the keys under the mat; the new president checks in at 3.


Late Night with Seth Meyers

The steakhouse chain Sizzler has filed for bankruptcy amid the coronavirus pandemic. "Wow, this is tough," said everyone who's ever eaten there.


Kraft has announced it will begin selling a limited edition Pumpkin Spice Mac & Cheese. Look for it in the checkout line at TJ Maxx in April.


Authorities in Tallahassee broke up a party yesterday near Florida State University with more than one thousand attendees. On the bright side, it could mark the first time that anyone at Florida State has learned a lesson.


Only a Trump would think a text message to your son saying "I love you" was suspicious.


According to a new survey, 86% of pet owners said that their animal's companionship has helped them through 2020. The other 14% have a cat.