Late Night: Jimmy Fallon

There's been some rough weather on the East Coast. The snowstorm left more than 300,000 people without power. Those people included many in Pennsylvania, Washington, D.C., and Peyton Manning.

I read that Tiger is planning to play in the Masters this April. Tiger said he's just focused on winning another green jacket, while his wife is focused on receiving half of that green jacket.

New York City cancelled public schools for only the third time in six years. That's crazy, right? Only three times in six years, or what the Knicks would call "a win."

President Obama just held his first monthly bipartisan meeting and said that working together on jobs would be "a good place to start." Hey, you know where else would be a good place to start? A year ago!

First Lady Michelle Obama just launched a campaign to combat childhood obesity called "Let's Move." And this evening, obese children started their own program called "Let's Not."

The Jay Leno Show

Congratulations to the world champion New Orleans Saints for winning the Super Bowl. That's the best thing to happen to New Orleans since George Bush left office.

They won 31-17 over the weekend and there was a huge snowstorm in Washington with over two feet of snow. So it's true what people say: the Saints would win when hell freezes over.

The latest issues of Pediatrics magazine says three factors will determine if your child will be obese: breakfast, lunch and dinner.

This is our last show. It was supposed to last two years, but my sentence was reduced to five months for good behavior.

Huge snowstorms back East -- even people without Toyotas are having trouble stopping.

With all this snow, President Obama told all non-essential White House employees they didn't have to come in to work. Actually, just Joe Biden.

The Late Show: David Letterman

Congratulations to the New Orleans Saints, they defeated my Indianapolis Colts. The bad news is they defeated the Indianapolis Colts 31-17. The good news? I am no longer Indiana's biggest disappointment.

I did some gambling this Super Bowl. I went to a tailgate party in a Toyota.

President Obama had a Super Bowl party. A lot of the Republicans attended and I thought, "Oh yeah, NOW they care about New Orleans!"

Washington, D.C., completely ground to a halt because of the huge blizzard. No activity, no signs of life, but really, how could you tell the difference?

There's so much snow that Washington, D.C., came to the biggest standstill since Democrats got the supermajority.

I called up my buddy Regis Philbin and I said, "Regis, have you ever seen anything like this?" And he says, "Honestly, Dave, I haven't seen anything like this since the blizzard of '88." I said, "Wow!" And he said, "1888!"   

Live: Jimmy Kimmel

The snow just won't stop. They're already calling this the "Toyota" of storms.

Sarah Palin, at the tea party convention, mocked President Obama for using a teleprompter, and then someone noticed that she had notes written on her hand. Writing stuff on your hand isn't always good, it's actually how President Bush invaded Iraq instead of Iran.

Saturday Night Live: Weekend Update With Seth Myers

After a massive recall due to faulty accelerators, the Secretary of Transportation told owners of Toyotas they should stop driving the vehicles. Said Toyota owners, "We're trying!"

According to a new survey, the drunkest city in the country is Fresno, Calif. To give you an idea of just how drunk, the city's actual name is Frenzo.

Police in Germany say that a woman watching a sunset on a webcam spotted a man lost on the frozen North Sea and saved his life by alerting authorities. But who is going to save the life of a woman who watches sunsets on a webcam?