Late Night With Seth Meyers

After the cast of Broadway's "Hamilton" addressed Vice-President-elect Mike Pence following a show this weekend, Donald Trump demanded they apologize, tweeting: "The theater must always be a safe and special place." To which Muslims replied: "Two tickets to the theater, please!"

Donald Trump spent the weekend at his golf club in Bedminster, New Jersey. "Four!" yelled Trump at a random woman he saw.

According to a new report, the night before Thanksgiving is the best night of the year for "casual hookups," while Thanksgiving day is the worst. "Bryan! You remember your cousin, Beth, right?!"

The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon

I saw that California's ban on plastic bags just went into effect, marking the first statewide ban in the U.S. So if you live in California, and you want a plastic bag, just reach into that one plastic bag in your closet where you've stuffed a thousand OTHER plastic bags.

Tinder went down last night, and many people said that the crash deleted all their matches. Then their friends said: "Yeah ... keep telling yourself that."

Yesterday, Donald Trump and Mike Pence reportedly received their first presidential daily briefing of sensitive national intelligence. Or as Trump asked Putin: "Do you prefer email or fax?"

Carrie Fisher claims in her upcoming book that she had an affair with Harrison Ford on the set of "Star Wars." Then Jabba the Hutt was like: "You said you didn't date co-workers!" I guess they were making Wookie.

I saw that Snapchat's parent company has filed paperwork to sell its stock publicly. Now comes the hard part: teaching its parent company how to use Snapchat.

The ride-sharing app Lyft is going to debut new color-changing displays on car dashboards on New Year's Eve, to make it easier for you to find your ride. Though on New Year's Eve, most people will be lucky if we can tell the difference between a car and a mailbox.

I saw that Denver just approved a law that will make it the first city in the U.S. that lets people smoke marijuana in public places like bars and restaurants. Which is great news for the three stoners who actually leave their homes.

I saw that Ted Cruz is actually being considered by Donald Trump to be attorney general. Though it'll be pretty awkward when he shows up for his first day of work and Trump goes: "I said TOM Cruise!"

Yesterday, Vice-President Joe Biden and Vice-President-elect Mike Pence had lunch together. Pence said: "I'm eager to discuss the issues facing our nation," while Biden said: "If you tell the waiter it's your birthday, you get a free piece of cake!"

Ricky Martin announced that he's engaged to his boyfriend, who happens to be Syrian. Yep, Ricky got down on one knee and said: "Will you help me make Donald Trump's head explode?"

Carrie Fisher says she went public with her affair with Harrison Ford because she felt like she waited an "appropriate amount of time." Specifically, she said it was: "A long, long time ago. In a Winnebago far away."

There's a new workout where people crawl like a baby, because it strengthens your core while working your shoulders and hips. In response, babies were like: "Have you seen our bodies? Wrists don't normally have dimples."

The Late Late Show With James Corden

Today was the American Cancer Society's Great American Smokeout event, which encourages people to stop smoking and help their loved ones do the same. That's right, quit smoking a week after Trump was elected. Good luck with that.

A study published in the journal Menopause revealed that, as they age, women tend to have better memories than men. There is no way this is true. Back when I was single, every woman I met in a bar couldn't even remember her own phone number. They were always giving me the wrong ones by accident.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Kanye West just canceled the remainder of his tour -- "The Saint Pablo Tour" -- which was supposed to run through the end of the year. He grounded it after another crazy concert in Sacramento this weekend. Thirty minutes into the show, he went on a long tirade, then stormed offstage and never came back. Why is this news? It should only be news if Kanye doesn't go on a tirade and storm offstage.

Maybe Kanye canceled the tour because Donald Trump is about to make him a part of his cabinet.

Trump started a Twitter feud with a Broadway musical. He is fighting with "Hamilton." That's right, the one thing everyone in this country likes, Donald Trump is fighting with it. Not since John F. Kennedy had that very public feud with the cast of "Bye Bye Birdie" has there been such venom between Broadway and the White House.