The Late Late Show with James Corden

Earlier this morning, thieves successfully robbed a museum and got a way with a record $1.1 billion in jewels -- the jewel thieves are considered armed and roguishly dashing.

A woman in Argentina recently rescued an abandoned kitten, only to learn two months later that her new pet was actually a wild mountain lion. She was happy when the kitten took care of her mouse problem. She was a little concerned after it also took care of her loud neighbor problem.

At this point, trump Throws more events for himself than a 23-year-old influencer celebrating their "birthday month."

Now, I'm British. We don't do Thanksgiving, so this is all still fairly new to me. Brits give thanks the same way we express love -- by sipping tea and avoiding eye contact.

I'm starting to get the hang of Thanksgiving at this point. Correct me if I'm wrong: It's basically a contest to see how many different ways you can cook a potato.

A Little Late With Lilly Singh

Sometimes my fans can be nervous, and they say things they don't necessarily mean. I can't tell you how many times I've got, "Woah, you're actually really pretty in real life" -- it's just like anytime I'm on a Tinder date!

I go back and forth on artificial intelligence. I'm not sure if it's good or bad. It's like taking shots. The next day you realize it was a mistake, but the night of you're like, "I'm going to live forever!"

The one reason I love Thanksgiving is it brings the whole family together. And the one reason I hate Thanksgiving is because it brings the whole family together.

The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Trump had his annual physical. There was an awkward moment when the nurse told Trump, "Mr. President, the open part of the robe should be in the back."

Victoria's Secret has officially canceled their Fashion Show. Or, as one guy put it, "Oh my God, this week CAN get worse!"

Thanksgiving is just a few days away, and I saw that about 50 million people will be traveling for the holiday. Here's how that breaks down: 10 million are visiting family, while 40 million are delivering weed to those 10 million.

The weather this week is supposed to be so bad that it could mean no balloons in this year's Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, if you're bummed, think about the guy who spent the last 11 months blowing them up.

I love Thanksgiving. It's fun spending the day looking at passed-out relatives and trying to guess: full, high or drunk?

The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

Thanksgiving is just around the corner, but impeachment is still the big story. So big, in fact, that this year at the parade, the transcript of Trump's Ukraine call is going to be one of the balloons.

Getting fact-checked by "Fox & Friends" is like the Incredible Hulk telling you he doesn't like you when you're angry.

This year the two turkeys up for pardon were called Bread and Butter. Butter got the official pardon moment. Only one thing: Bread won the White House Twitter poll by 12 points. I'm surprised Bread won the popular vote -- I can't believe it's not Butter!

According to the TSA, you can bring your Thanksgiving turkey on an airplane. As for other Thanksgiving food, pies or cookies are allowed right in your carry-on, gravy or cranberry sauce can go in your checked luggage and corn pudding can go directly to hell!

Jimmy Kimmel Live

The president tried hard to change the focus today by welcoming Conan, the dog who took part in the raid that killed the leader of ISIS. Trump did not touch Conan during the visit, but Vice-President Mike Pence was giving him a friendly pet. It was nice to see Trump's dogs playing together.

Did you know that you can bring a turkey on the plane? According to the TSA, it's OK to pack a cooked turkey in a carry-on bag. For real. Turkey is allowed, mashed potatoes are allowed, stuffing is allowed and as much gravy as you can fit in a three-ounce bottle of shampoo is allowed. This is a big deal because previously the only way to travel with a turkey was to get a note from your doctor saying it was a comfort animal.

More than 20 million Americans are facing winter weather warnings right now, which will likely lead to flight cancellations and delays. But don't let the bad weather ruin the holiday for you. That's what your family is for!

Late Night With Seth Meyers

According to reports, Republican Congressman Devin Nunes went to Europe last year and met with Ukrainian sources to dig up dirt on former vice-president Joe Biden. Wait, so you were overseeing the impeachment inquiry, and you were part of the thing he's being impeached for? This is like if the judge at the O.J. trial had been the glove.

Ikea held a promotional event recently to show how its furniture could be used to outfit future settlements on Mars. So it's gonna be extra annoying when you get it home and realize you're missing a peg. "Honey, I have to go back to Earth …"

Weekend Update

Testimony in the impeachment hearing concluded in the House this week. And now the debate will shift to your house for Thanksgiving.

South Dakota's governor is defending a new anti-meth campaign which features the tagline, "Meth. We're on it." Which still isn't as bad North Dakota's ad campaign, "Cocaine. We cracked it."