The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

"Wheel of Fortune" filmed without an audience as a protective measure against the coronavirus. Things are so bad over there, Vanna is now turning all the letters with her elbow.

 

Sony and PlayStation have started the "Play at Home" initiative to encourage gamers to stay indoors. Yeah, that's always been the problem with gamers, they spend too much time outdoors.

 

A lot of people say that the lockdowns have caused tension between them and their roommates. A definite sign of that: when you start referring to your wife and kids as "roommates."

 

Red Lobster is launching a new Mountain Dew cocktail called "Dew Garita." The "Dew Garita" sounds like something you drink before a colonoscopy.

 

Trump held a packed indoor rally in Nevada, so it looks like the next long-term residency in Las Vegas will be the coronavirus.

 

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Trump is exactly like a lineman: he eats 15,000 calories a day and we're pretty sure he has brain damage.

 

I'd love to use your words against you, Lindsay [Graham], but they're clearly empty. Now, a gym sock filled with combination locks? That's got some heft.

 

Forty percent of Americans would give up their dog for a month to keep their smartphone. Sounds heartless until you realize 100% of dogs would give up their owner for half of a Ritz cracker.

 

You can't just stop counting when the numbers are what you want them to be. Otherwise I'd be 28 years old, with a 32-inch waist, talking about the 44th president.

 

The Late Late Show with James Corden

You know what it takes to repeal a law against showing your underwear? Legal briefs.

 

I am finding it hard being here all alone. It turns out, I really do thrive off the fake laughter of people on my payroll.

 

Former president Barack Obama is releasing a memoire titled "A Promised Land," and it's set to come out right after the 2020 election. I honestly forgot presidents could write anything other than tweets.

 

A supermarket [in Japan] has just introduced a 7-foot-tall robot that the store uses to stock its shelves. It looks like a computer mouse got a super hot boyfriend.

 

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

New York Times reported that when he got out of the hospital last week, [Donald Trump] wanted to put on a show. His plan was to walk out of the hospital, appearing to be frail and then he would tear off his buttoned down shirt to reveal a Superman logo underneath.

 

They confirmed the first reinfection in the United States and the second time was reportedly worse than the first … that's how it usually goes with sequels.

 

Have you noticed that they give you advice for election day and all of a sudden it sounds like an emergency preparedness pamphlet? "Locate your polling place in advance. Bring bottled water. Contact your neighbors. Don't touch the doorknob if it's too hot."

 

I have to say, if you're Purelling and microwaving your mail-in ballot, I'm OK with you sitting this one out, vote-wise — I really am.

 

If my choices are watching a documentary about the Bill of Rights or a guy getting hit in the nuts with a shovel, I'm going shovel every single time!

 

Dr. Fauci is recommending that, because of the pandemic, Americans think twice about doing a big family Thanksgiving … I've been saying that to my family for years.

 

Late Night with Seth Meyers

Producers have announced that the sitcom "Friends" will air a reunion special on HBO's new streaming service later this year. When asked why they're bringing the show back, producers explained that they were on a break!

 

The executive chef of Chipotle recently released a demonstration of how to make the chain's guacamole. It's actually pretty simple: just crush up some avocado, squeeze in some lime, and finely dice a $100 bill.

 

Buffalo Wild Wings announced that they are coming out with three new sauce flavors. They're currently in Phase 3 of human trials and the results look promising so far.

 

President Trump said on Twitter that next year "will be our best year ever." "I dunno, 2020's gonna be pretty tough to beat," said the CEO of Purell.

 

Weekend Update with Michael Che and Colin Jost

According to Google, the top Halloween costume searches this year are for witch, dinosaur and Harley Quinn. Or you can combine all three by going as Kellyanne Conway.

 

Fisher-Price has launched an online museum showcasing its toys over the past 90 years. Or you can see them in person at America's most famous toy museum, the Neverland Ranch.

 

A restaurant in San Francisco is selling a fried chicken sandwich that includes the chicken's claw. Not to be outdone, KFC just announced their new "beaks only" bucket.