Late Night: Jimmy Fallon

Rick Santorum was seen lying on the beach without his shirt on. He would have worn sunscreen, but he's not really into protection.

Disney will lose $200 million on its new movie, "John Carter," about a Civil War soldier on Mars. Disney could tell they were going to lose lots of money when they realized they made a movie about a Civil War soldier on Mars. "The Hunger Games" is expected to make $130 million at the box office this weekend. Experts say the movie has that one quality you look for in a film -- it's not about a Civil War soldier on Mars.

After being arrested on Friday, George Clooney said he used his one phone call in jail to call his mother. When Clooney called his mom, even she was like, "Oh my God -- it's George Clooney!"

Peyton Manning has agreed to join the Denver Broncos, which means Denver will trade Tim Tebow after just one year as a starter. Even Kim Kardashian was like, "Come on, who dumps a pro athlete that quickly?"

Conan: Conan O'Brien

Over the weekend, a group of Occupy Wall Street protesters tried to reoccupy New York's Zuccotti Park. You can tell the movement has been hurting for funds because this time they called themselves "Occupy Wall Street, Brought to You by Sony Pictures' '21 Jump Street.'"

The creator of Red Bull died at the age of 89. As per his wishes, his funeral will be an all-nighter followed by a midterm.

A new study shows that 30 million China citizens live in caves. A spokesperson for the citizens said, "Hey, it beats making iPads."

A Massachusetts medical clinic is trying to entice men to get a vasectomy by offering a free pizza. The disturbing part is for both the pizza and the vasectomy, they use the same rolling wheel knife.

It's Anne's and Mitt Romney's 43rd wedding anniversary. This means 43 years ago, Mitt proposed to his wife and due to a weak field of candidates, she said yes.

The Tonight Show: Jay Leno

The movie "Titanic" will be re-released in 3-D. In this version, the captain doesn't see the iceberg coming because he's not wearing the special glasses.

Pope Benedict will visit Mexico this weekend. Historians say he will be the first Pope ever to attend spring break.

The State Department is warning spring breakers about the dangers of violence from Mexican drug gangs. So, to avoid the threat, stay out of L.A.

The new iPad went on sale. The picture's so fantastic, you can see with amazing clarity just how obsolete the iPad you got for Christmas is.

This week the makers of Camel cigarettes said 10 per cent of its workers would be eliminated by 2014 -- especially if they keep smoking Camels.

The English press is reporting that Prince Harry is a little depressed. Prince Harry wishes he was a normal 27-year-old guy. He's got no job, he can't commit to a relationship, he still lives at home... he IS a normal 27-year-old.

Live: Jimmy Kimmel

Rick Santorum wants to crack down on pornography. Most political analysts say it could hurt him with the "every single man in America" vote.

The Late, Late Show: Craig Ferguson

On this day in 1999, California opened Lego Land theme park. It was supposed to open a few years earlier, but they couldn't find a piece.

In the 1970s vampires were pretty boring. The scariest vampire was Count Chocula. One bite of Count Chocula and you were cursed with Type-2 diabetes.

The key way to tell who is a vampire is to remember that they grow older without any change to their physical appearance. In other words, Rob Lowe is a vampire.